| Location | Northampton |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Spina bifida |
| Date of Birth | 29/07/2009 |
| Date of Death | 29/07/2009 |
| Visitors | 2,173 since 27/08/2009 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
The day we found out mummy was pregnant with you she was in hospital with ovarian cysts. We were so happy! Mummy was in agony but happier than she had ever been before. But the pregnancy was far from easy! As you grew so did her cysts. For the first 12 weeks of the pregnancy she was in and out of hospital with various scans – we got to see you so much and every time we did you had grown some more.
At 10 weeks your god mother & father to be lost their baby at 13 weeks. They had a missed miscarriage. Your mummy and daddy were devastated for them. You continued to grow and mummy felt guilty that we got to keep you when their baby had gone to play with the angels.
Your 12 week scan went well and a scan at 14 weeks showed the cysts were shrinking. But every time we saw you we thought your head was very big but we were told you were “normalâ€. We first heard your heartbeat at 15 weeks. It was very loud but slower than mummy expected but the midwife said it was healthy and that’s all that mattered.
It was the 30th June 2009 before we got to see you next. It was our 20 week scan but from mummy’s dates you were 20 weeks and 6 days. Mummy had been awake since 5am worrying about you and what would happen. For some reason she had a feeling something was wrong. Your daddy was so excited and couldn't wait to find out if you were a little girl or little boy.
After a short wait a sonographer called us in. We were watching the screen excitedly but mummy knew straight away something was wrong. The sonographer kept scanning the same place – your head! We had always said you had a big head. She said that she needed a second opinion and left us alone. Another lady came in and scanned mummy - she too concentrated on your head and kept asking questions about your movements. You had been moving all the time and keeping mummy awake at night! A few minutes later we were told we need to go to see the consultant in Pre-Natal Diagnosis. They said that you were showing signs of Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus. She showed us what she meant – as you looked down at the top of your head it was a lemon shape and at the back of the neck there's meant to be a figure 8 shape and instead it was a banana shape. Our baby was a poorly little thing.
We were led down to Pre-Natal Diagnosis and told to sit in the waiting room. A couple of
minutes later we were ushered into our own private room and waited for the consultant to arrive. When we were waiting mummy remembers your daddy saying “You knew didn’t you? You knew that something was wrong.†and all she said was “Yes.†She had known for weeks but everyone kept telling her you were ok.
The consultant confirmed our worst fears. You had Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus.
We were told we could have an MRI scan in Sheffield to see if anything could be done so the following Monday we set off for Sheffield hoping we would get some good news.
Mummy hated the MRI scan. It was so loud and scared her. You didn’t appreciate it much either – you kept kicking hard. After the scan a lovely doctor talked things through and said that everything looked good! We also found out you were a little girl. We went home with smiles on our faces thinking everything would be ok. You were our little baby girl and you were going to be ok.
But the MRI alone wasn’t enough – mummy and daddy wanted to know more. So an appointment was booked at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford. We travelled down 3 days later but were to be disappointed. The consultant we needed to see was on holiday and the surgeon had only received the report from the MRI and not the pictures he needed.
It was a whole week and one day before we had an appointment to see the consultant and surgeon together. We waited for the whole morning for our name to be called and just before lunch we were told to come back later.
When we returned we were taken down to a scan room full of people. Mummy felt like she was being used as an experiment. There was the consultant, the surgeon and 2 other doctors present. The consultant scanned away as everyone looked on. We were told you were blind. We were also told the fluid had built up even more since the MRI scan and the lesion on your back was from your chest down – higher and bigger than first thought.
Now we had to make a decision. Did we let you live and have a life of suffering? Or send you to live with the angels? We decided it would be better for you to go and live with the angels. We didn’t want you to live a life of pain and suffering.
As they gave you an injection to stop your heart mummy felt your last kick. Then mummy and daddy cried so much. We never wanted you to go – we wanted you to stay but you were too poorly for this world.
On Friday 24th July 2009 at 3.30pm it was confirmed you had gone to heaven. We both sat and cried that night. Our dream of having a baby had gone.
Two days later we were to report to the labour ward at Northampton General Hospital so mummy could have some hormone tablets to get her cervix ready for labour. Mummy hated it. Not only had you gone but the midwife put us in a room ready for someone to give birth. There was a cot, skin to skin contact posters, breastfeeding posters, birthing ball in the corner – everything you needed. Mummy sat that thinking about how you would never be in that cot, how she’d never breastfeed you or need that birthing ball.
Then everything felt normal for a minute. Daddy made mummy laugh. The alcoholic sanitizer gel that we had used on the way in was making him feel sick. Mummy told him it was his own fault for getting drunk the night before. Then a woman next door screamed and a baby cried – a little baby had been born close by. Eventually mummy had the tablets and was sent home.
The next day past quickly and it was soon Tuesday morning. Mummy and daddy arrived back at the hospital ready to be induced. Our room was called “Snowdrop†which made mummy and daddy smile because we had found a poem called Little Snowdrop to be read at the funeral. From that point on you were known as Our Little Snowdrop.
The day was a bit of a blur and mummy doesn’t remember a lot. The only clear thing mummy remembers is it being 1 o’clock the next morning and she wanted to push. She finally gave into this urge 15 minutes later. This is when she knew it was over. You had been born. Mummy had no more contractions but the midwife didn’t roll mummy over for another 10 minutes. When she did everything was delivered in tact with no more contractions.
On Wednesday 29th July 2009 at 1.25am our beautiful little Chloe was born. You were the most beautiful baby we had ever seen. Our Little Snowdrop.
We love you Chloe and you will always be in our hearts.
From your Mummy & Daddy xoxox
FOR A VERY SPECIAL ANGEL
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MY WHOLE WORLD CHANGED..........
ஜ****ஜ****ஜ****ஜ
MY WHOLE WORLD CHANGED THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY
NOW I JUST LIVE ON MY MEMORIES OF YOU EACH DAY
THE SADNESS AND THE PAIN ARE SOME-TIMES TOO MUCH TO BARE
WHEN I LOOK AROUND ME YOU ARE NO LONGER THERE
ஜ****ஜ****ஜ****ஜ
THERE ARE A FEW TREASURES THAT YOU LEFT BEHIND
I KEEP THOSE SAFE BOTH IN MY HEART AND MY MIND
FOR THE GREATEST GIFT YOU EVER GAVE ME
WAS YOUR LOVE AND THAT LASTS FOR ALL ETERNITY
ஜ****ஜ****ஜ****ஜ
MY WHOLE WORLD CHANGED YOU SHOULD STILL BE HERE WITH ME
BUT YOU LIVE IN PARADISE WHERE ALL ANGELS FLY FREE
THERE IS NO DOUBT IN MY MIND THAT WE SHALL BE TOGETHER ONE DAY
I JUST HOPE WITH ALL OF MY HEART THAT YOU HEAR THE WORDS THAT I SAY
ஜ****ஜ****ஜ****ஜ
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â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“
â–“â–’â–’â–’â–’â–’â–’â–’â–’â–’â–’â–’â–“
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â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“
ஜ****ஜ****ஜ****ஜ****ஜ****ஜ****ஜ
Like a shadow in the moonlight
Like the whisper of the seas,
Like the echos of a melody
Just beyond our reach.
In the shadows of our sorrow
Past the whisper of goodbye,
Love shines through eternity
A heartbeat from our eye.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHLOE
**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ*THOSE WE LOVE **ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Birthday Remembrance
Thinking of you on your birthday Chloe
But that is nothing new
For no day dawns and no day ends
Without a thought of you.
We cannot send a birthday card,
Your hand we cannot touch,
But God will take our greetings
To the one we love so much.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHLOE
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love you take care big hugs to you
and your family that miss you ever
day more then words can say take
care bye for now love from me
Sylvie mommy of Samantha Belanger
Happy Birthday
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ*THOSE WE LOVE **ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ
BIG HUGS CHLOE
ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ .
♥ * . ♥ * .
⋱♰⋰ Angel Day ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Your Angel Day in Heaven ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Many tears will fall for you ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ You touched so many loving hearts ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ There’s so many missing you ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ As you now live in paradise ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Its Heaven up above stay ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Close to all your loved ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ ones For it’s you they ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ miss and love ⋱♰⋰
.
ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ .
⋱♰⋰ bigs hugs from me to you and your ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ family and friends that you miss you ever day ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ but in our hearts forever you will not be ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ forgoten you take care love from me ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Sylvie mommy of Samantha ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Belanger hugs and XXXX ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ bye for now good ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ night ⋱♰⋰
♥ * . ♥ * .
ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ .
♥ * . ♥ * .
....Goodnight and God Bless..........
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Sleep Tight......X X
☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆
ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ .
♥ ♥ ♥ Angel Day bigs hugs from me to you and your family and friends that you miss you ever day but in our hearts forever take care love you bye for now hugs love from me.♥ ♥ ♥
These lyrics could have been written for you Chloe
You said when you'd die that you'd walk
With me everyday
And I'd start to cry and say please don't talk that way
With the blink of an eye the lord came
And asked you to leave
You went to a better place but he stole you
Away from me
And now she lives in heaven
But I know they let her out
To take care of me
There's a strange kind of light
Caressing me tonight
Pray silence my fears she is near
Bringing heaven down here
I miss your love I miss your touch
But I'm feeling you everyday
And I can almost hear you say
"You've come along way baby"
And now you live in heaven
But I know they let you out
To take care of me
There's a strange kind of light
In my bedroom tonight
Prayer silence my fears she is near
Bringing heaven down here
You taught me kings and queens
While stroking my hair
In my darkest hour I know you are there
Kneeling down beside me
Whispering my prayer
Yes there's a strange kind of light
Caressing me tonight
Pray silence my fear
She is near
Bringing heaven down here
The next time that we meet
I will bow at her feet
And say wasn't life sweet
Then we'll prepare
To take heaven down there
Dear Chloe
Some people say the hardest thing to do in life is raise a child
They are wrong
Very wrong
The hardest thing to do in life is loose a child.
Six months after loosing you
My heart still aches as much as day one
I have learnt to live with the pain
But I will never learn to live without you.
I am sorry you had to leave
But you were too perfect for this world
Your cute button nose and long blonde eyelashes
Your tiny little hands and my gorgeous daughter forever gone
We will meet again
I don’t know where
And I don’t know when
But I know I will see you once again.
I love you Chloe
My angel in the sky
My princess in the clouds
My snowdrop in my dreams
I’ll never forget you
Lots of Love Mummy x
*☆ * My Christmas Wish Santa *☆ *
* ☆ *☆ * ☆ * * ☆ *☆ * ☆ *
Dear Santa can you see me,
With tears upon my face,
A heart so badly broken,
Missing Chloe's embrace.
As I write this letter,
To express my only wish,
Dear Santa please remember,
There's only one gift on my list.
Her smile & Her laughter,
Her hugs & kisses too,
Dear Santa I am pleading,
To make my wish come true.
I haven't been quite perfect,
I've tried the best I can,
But seeing as you are Santa,
You might just change the plan.
Each day I wake to sorrow,
Pain that I can't flee,
Dear Santa I am asking,
Can you bring her back to me.
It's been a few months now,
Sometimes as if she were a dream,
Dear Santa please consider,
Changing this life theme.
Dear Santa could you find it,
Within your kind warm heart,
To bring Chloe home for Christmas,
So we are not apart.
* ☆ *☆ * ☆ * * ☆ *☆ * ☆ *
What kind of place would heaven be with all its streets of gold, if all the souls, that dwell up there like yours and mine, were old? How strange would heaven’s music sound when harps begin to ring, if children were not gathered ‘round to help the angels sing. The children that God sends to us are only just a loan, He knows we need their sunshine to make the house a home. We need the inspiration of a baby’s blessed smile. He doesn’t say they’ve come to stay, just lends them for a while. Sometimes it takes them years to do the work for which they come. Sometimes in just a month or two our Father calls them home. I like to think some souls up there bear not one sinful scar. I love to think of heaven as a place where children are.
xxx
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